What is unconscious uncoupling? Damned if I know. If I knew, I wouldn't be doing it. We wouldn't be doing it.
I created a secret blog where I could write about the uncoupling. The unconscious coupling. But what good is a secret blog wherein I write about this chaos? It's no good at all. So hi, I'm here. At least for now. Maybe it will be two years before I write again. This is unconscious after all. Anything could happen.
I've been hard on Gwenyth for a long time. Ever since she wore that adorable pixie with the barret on the side and I couldn't go anywhere or do anything without seeing her perfect, perky (and privileged) self and she drove me mad.
But I think she got this one right.
I thought that by loosening the knot, Someone might grab on and hold tight. Maybe that someone would be me. But I had to know what it felt like.
There was a conscious thought, in the beginning but so quickly, more quickly than I would have imagined, and when I look back at the last year, can hardly believe is real - the knot untied, unraveled and got dragged in the dirt.
Consciousness went out the window. It went down the street, took a hard right, burned rubber and never looked back. Many things have shown up in it's place. I won't list them here, it's too cliche. All the heartbreak and exhilaration and guilt you can imagine wrapped up in coffee stained newspaper and finished up with a wrinkled bow.
Once again in my life I've found myself in a tough spot and every day I find inspiration and strength and confidence and most of all hope in the words of others. So no more secret blogging.
At least not for today. Who knows what tomorrow will bring?